>>> ELECTION DAY IS JUST A WEEK
AWAY.
MORE THAN 60 MILLION AMERICANS
HAVE ALREADY CAST THEIR BALLOT.
>> NO SECRET THAT THE ELECTION
CREATED TONS OF STRESS AND
ANXIETY AMONG FAMILY AND FRIENDS
WITH OPPOSING POLITICAL VIEWS.
>> GET THIS.
ACCORDING TO ONE STUDY, 35% OF
REPUBLICANS AND 45% OF DEMOCRATS
SAID THEY WOULD BE UNHAPPY IF
THEIR CHILD MARRIED SOMEBODY
FROM THE OPPOSING POLITICAL
PARTY.
>> WE WANT TO KNOW HOW AMERICANS
ARE HANDLING THE DIVIDE AND
SURVIVING THIS ELECTION SEASON.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
POLITICAL SIGNS, ENDLESS NEWS
COVERAGE, A DIVISIVE COMMENTARY
ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
THE 2020 ELECTION SEASON IS IN
FULL SWING.
ALONG WITH IT COMES RISING
STRESS AND ANXIETY LEVELS.
>> THERE'S SO MUCH AT STAKE.
TENSIONS ARE SO HIGH.
>> THIS ELECTION SEASON HAS BEEN
VERY STRESSFUL.
PLAYS IMPACT ON MENTAL HEALTH
AND HOW WE ENGAGE ONE ANOTHER.
>> ONE PSYCHOLOGIST LABELING
ELECTION STRESS DISORDER.
>> PEOPLE ARE SO DIVIDED, ONLY
CARE ABOUT THEIR VIEWPOINTS,
THERE'S NO CONVERSATION
HAPPENING.
>> AND FINDING COMMON GROUND
SEEMS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE IN OUR
DIVIDED COUNTRY.
>> NOWADAYS YOU EITHER AGREE OR
IT'S OVER AND IT IS SAD BECAUSE
I'VE LOST FRIENDS BY NOT
AGREEING WITH THEM POLITICALLY.
>> IT CAN DEFINITELY GET VERY
CHALLENGING AT TIMES WHEN YOUR
FAMILY IS SPLIT BETWEEN
POLITICAL PARTIES.
>> EVEN FRAYING FAMILY TIES.
>> IN MY CASE, I HAVE BEEN
BLESSED WITH SEVERAL SIBLINGS.
I HAD TO SEVER MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH ONE OF MY SISTERS WHO I
LOVE VERY MUCH.
>> WE AGREE THAT WE DO NOT TALK
ABOUT IT AT THE DINNER TABLE,
THAT HAS KEPT OUR SANITY IN
CHECK THE PAST FEW MONTHS.
>> I HAVE BEEN UNFRIENDED AND
BLOCKED ALL BECAUSE WE HAVE
DIFFERING OPINIONS.
>> OUR POLITICAL VIEWS AND
BELIEFS ARE ON SUCH OPPOSITE
SPECTRUMS, SADLY IT BECAME TOXIC
AND I HAD TO WALK AWAY.
>> IN 2020, RESEARCH SUGGESTS
RATHER THAN ENGAGE, WE'RE
RETREATING FROM OTHERS WITH
DIFFERENT POLITICAL VIEWS.
>> I CAN'T BE AROUND PEOPLE OR
GROUPS OR SITUATIONS THAT ARE
DETRIMENTAL TO MY OWN WELL-BEING
AND THE WELL-BEING OF PEOPLE I
CARE ABOUT.
>> NOW IT IS SORT OF LIKE
EVERYONE IS IN THEIR OWN
INDIVIDUAL BUBBLE.
>> 40% OF AMERICANS SAY THEY
DON'T HAVE A SINGLE CLOSE FRIEND
WHO SUPPORTS AN OPPOSING
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.
>> IT IS BEST IF I DON'T SEE A
LOT OF FAMILY MEMBERS OF MINE
BECAUSE WE DISAGREE ON SO MANY
FUNDAMENTAL THINGS.
>> AND FOR SINGLES, RECENT STUDY
FOUND 76% BELIEVE THEIR PARTNER
SHOULD SHARE THE SAME POLITICAL
BELIEFS.
THAT'S A 25% INCREASE FROM 2017.
ONCE THE ELECTION IS COMPLETE,
WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO HEAL BROKEN
RELATIONSHIPS AND MOVE BEYOND
OUR BUBBLES?
>> HERE WAS SOME ADVICE TO HELP
BRIDGE THE DIVIDE, PSYCHOLOGIST,
PROFESSOR TANYA ISRAEL.
LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW AND WHY IT
IS SO VERY DIFFICULT FOR US TO
HAVE THE CONVERSATIONS.
WHY IS IT HARDER TO REACH OUT TO
SOMEBODY THAT MAY BELIEVE
DIFFERENTLY THAN US AND START A
CONVERSATION?
>> IT CAN BE SO HARD TO WRAP OUR
HEADS AROUND HOW OTHERS CAN VIEW
THINGS SO DIFFERENTLY.
OUR OPINIONS GROW OUT OF OUR
VALUES AND EXPERIENCES.
IF YOU TAKE SOMEONE'S CONTEXT
INTO ACCOUNT, CONCLUSIONS MAKE
MORE SENSE.
IF YOU EVALUATE THEIR VIEWS
BASED ON YOUR VALUES, THAT'S THE
WRONG METRIC.
TURNS OUT THIS IS A TYPICAL
ERROR WE MAKE AS HUMAN BEINGS.
WE SEE OUR OWN VIEWS AS LOGICAL,
WELL FOUNDED.
SEE OTHERS AS IRRATIONAL,
EXTREME, UNKIND.
KNOWING YOUR PERCEPTIONS ARE
DISTORTED, YOU CAN TRY TO REACH
OUT AND GET CURIOUS.
>> INSTEAD OF SAYING WHY DO YOU
BELIEVE THAT, SAY TELL ME MORE.
ALLOWING THEM A SPACE TO SAY IT.
I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE ARE SEEING IT
AS A MORAL QUESTION AS OPPOSED
TO LET'S NOT TALK POLITICS LIKE
THEY USED TO SAY.
PUT IT ON THE BACK BURNER.
THEY SEE IT AS MORE THAN
POLITICAL CONVERSATION.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THERE ARE A LOT OF REALLY
IMPORTANT ISSUES AT STAKE IN
THIS ELECTION, BUT ALSO AT STAKE
ARE OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER
PEOPLE.
AND OUR NEED FOR HUMAN
CONNECTION IS GOING TO OUTLAST
THIS POLITICAL MOMENT.
>> WE'RE TAKING A QUICK BREAK IF
YOU DON'T MIND, WE'LL COME BACK,
>>> THIS POLITICAL SEASON HAS
BEEN SO DIVISIVE THAT WHEN TWO
OPPOSING CANDIDATES FOR UTAH PUT
AN AD OUT TELLING VOTERS IT IS
OKAY TO DISAGREE WITHOUT BEING
DISAGREEABLE, IT MADE NEWS.
>> PEOPLE ARE HUNGRY FOR
DECENCY, TIRED OF DIVISIVENESS.
TRUTH IS, WE BOTH GENERALLY LIKE
EACH OTHER.
SPENCER IS A GREAT GUY.
WE HAVE TO REMEMBER WE ALL HAVE
TO GET ALONG AFTER THE
ELECTIONS.
>> GETTING ALONG CAN BE EASIER
SAID THAN DONE.
BACK WITH US, PSYCHOLOGIST AND
AUTHOR TANYA ISRAEL, AUTHOR OF
"BEYOND YOUR BUBBLE."
WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT KNOWING
YOU'LL HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH
SOMEBODY, A FAMILY MEMBER, LOVED
ONE, FRIEND.
HOW DO YOU START THE
CONVERSATION WITHOUT PUTTING UP
A WALL IMMEDIATELY?
I THINK A LOT OF US DO THAT.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
START BY ASKING YOURSELF WHY
YOU'RE IN THIS CONVERSATION?
WHAT ARE YOUR MOTIVATIONS?
DO YOU WANT TO MAINTAIN A
RELATIONSHIP?
FIND COMMON GROUND?
PERSUADE, OR MAYBE YOU SIMPLY
CANNOT FATHOM HOW PEOPLE COULD
ACT OR THINK OR VOTE AS THEY DO.
IN ANY CASE, PROMOTING
UNDERSTANDING WILL GET YOU
CLOSER TO GOALS THAN PUSHING
YOUR IDEAS.
YOU MAY WANT TO EXPLAIN WHY
YOU'RE RIGHT, CITE RESEARCH,
POINT OUT LOGICAL
INCONSISTENCIES OR WALK AWAY.
YOU ALSO MAY WANT TO TELL THEM
THEY'RE IDIOTS, THESE ACTIONS
WON'T REACH GOALS YOU SET FOR
YOURSELF.
NO MATTER WHAT YOUR MOTIVATION,
THERE ARE ONLY TWO THINGS TO DO
TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN DIALOGUE.
FIRST, TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE
OTHER PERSON, AND SECOND, HELP
THEM FEEL SAFE AND UNDERSTOOD.
>> HELP THEM FEEL SAFE.
THAT'S GOOD.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE RELATIVE
ALWAYS STIRRING IT UP, WE ALL
HAVE THAT ONE, YOU WALK INTO THE
ROOM, NO ONE IS DISCUSSING IT,
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY DIVE IN
THE DEEP END.
WHAT DO YOU DO IN THOSE
SETTINGS?
I DON'T THINK IT IS ALWAYS
APPROPRIATE TO HAVE THE
CONVERSATION.
>> YEAH, SURE.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.
BEFORE YOU GIVE UP, KEEP YOUR
MOTIVATION IN MIND, ASSESS
WHETHER THAT CONVERSATION HAS
THE POTENTIAL TO IMPROVE
CONNECTION OR HELP YOU
UNDERSTAND WHERE SOMEBODY IS
COMING FROM.
AND ALSO, WE'RE NOT BORN WITH
THESE SKILLS.
MAYBE HELP THEM OUT, TRY TO BE
FORGIVING.
BUT RIGHT NOW, MORE THAN
ANYTHING ELSE, COMMUNICATE YOUR
CARING AND INTEREST TO THEM.
>> YOUR SECOND TOOL, ONE THAT
SEEMS SO VERY OBVIOUS, YET FOR
SOME REASON I FEEL LIKE WE SHIED
AWAY FROM THIS, AS A COUNTRY,
WHICH IS REALLY LISTENING, NOT
JUST SAYING OKAY, I AM HEARING
YOU, BUT OPENING YOUR HEART SO
YOU CAN TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE
PERSON MORE.
WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DO THAT?
>> WELL, WHETHER OR NOT YOU
AGREE WITH SOMEONE, LISTENING
CAN BE SUCH A POWERFUL TOOL IF
WE DO IT WELL.
WE NEED TO LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND
INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO RESPOND.
FIRST, ALLOW THE OTHER PERSON,
UNINTERRUPTED TIME TO SPEAK.
IN FACT, IF YOU REARRANGE THE
LETTERS OF THE WORD LISTEN, IT
SPELLS SILENT.
SO RATHER THAN COMING BACK WITH
CONTRASTING VIEWPOINTS, THE BEST
THING TO DO IS SUMMARIZE WHAT
THE OTHER PERSON SAID AND SHARE
IT BACK WITH THEM.
MAKE SURE YOU SHOW THAT YOU
UNDERSTAND THE OTHER PERSON'S
VIEWPOINT BY REFLECTING AND
ENCOURAGE THEM TO SAY MORE.
COMMUNICATING OUR INTEREST IS
THE GLUE THAT KEEPS US CONNECTED
THROUGH DISAGREEMENT.
>> THE MORE YOU'RE CLOSE TO
SOMEONE, IT IS HARD TO HATE THAT
PERSON.
THE OTHER THING, PEOPLE GET HOT
WHEN TALKING POLITICS, YOU HAVE
TO MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS.
SOMETIMES THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU
BECAUSE OF HOW LOUD YOU'RE
GETTING.
>> YES.
INDEED.
I THINK WE'RE FAMILIAR WITH THE
FACT THAT A LOT OF FEELINGS CAN
ARISE WHEN YOU HAVE, OR EVEN IF
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT HAVING
THESE CONVERSATIONS.
MANAGING EMOTIONS IS A KEY
SKILL.
YOU MAY FEEL FLUSHED, MUSCLES
GET TENSE.
THESE ARE SIGNS OUR BODY IS
RESPONDING TO STRESS.
IF YOU FIND YOURSELF FEELING
THAT WAY, TRY GROUNDING YOURSELF
BY TAKING A DEEP BREATH OR
BRINGING YOUR ATTENTION TO
FEELING OF YOUR FEET ON THE
FLOOR.
THESE ARE SIMPLE THINGS WE CAN
DO TO CALM OUR SELF.
>> I SAW THAT ON DANIEL TIGER
AND IT WORKS.
DEEP BREATH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, TANIA.
WE APPRECIATE THAT.
THE BOOK, "BEYOND YOUR